Who would've thought...

...that there were so many ways to say it.

Today I was looking for the meaning of names, very interesting stuff, specially because I love linguistics (if next year I'm able to take an MA I'll do it on linguistics). For some reason the most popular name for girls in the States now is:

Emily

The girl's name Emily \e-mi-ly\ is pronounced EM-i-ee. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "industrious, striving".
Emily has 5 variant forms: Amelia, Emelia, Emilee, Emilia and Emilie.
Baby names that sound like Emily are Amaly, Amilya and Amil.
Interesting, isn't it? and it gets even better. The most popular name for boys is:

Jacob

The boy's name Jacob \j(a)-cob\ is pronounced JAY-kub. It is of Hebrew origin, and its meaning is "he who supplants". Biblical: the son of Isaac and Rebekah and twin brother of Esau. Jacob fathered 12 sons and a daughter, who became the ancestors of the nation of Israel, the name Jacob himself received after wrestling with an angel. Jacobo is a Spanish form; Yakov (YAH-kav) is Russian. Senator Jacob Javits; actor Jake Gyllenhall.

I think there could be a whole fantastic analysis of what this represents in social and cultural terms...and well so many other things. Ah...I think my brain is waking up away, darn him, I asked him to sleep a lot this summer!

My name on the other hand it is of English origin, and its meaning is "lovable". Short form of Amabel (Latin) "lovable". It has 13 variant forms: Amabel, Amable, Amaybel, Amaybelle, Amayble, Mab, Mabelle, Mable, Maible, Maybel, Maybell, Maybelle and Mayble.

Man and I used to be so sad that my name was so short that I couldn't have any pet names, and there were so many ways to say it!!! :lol:

In other news: I'M GOING TO VINA!!!, Dani bought the tickets so I'm going to Vina's festival, and not to any of the recitals...I'll be there on the opening night! Waaaahh!!! and yesterday I talked to Jose and she said that after her sister gets better we'll go to her apartment again! WAAAAAAAHH!!! and I talked to my mom today and she said that on the 31st we'll go buy the things we need and we'll go on holidays!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

So many wonderful things...and as I said, it doesn't matter if one of them or all of them fail. The idea of having something to look forward in the future is exciting already!!!! ^____________________^ ::smiles in glee::

Oh, and CO$ is going down on February the 12th. Go anonymous!! I would help the cause If I could and just for the LULZ of it.

マベルしあわせ！！！

私はヴィニャのまつりへいきます！

ダニエラが私はヴィニャのまつえりへしょうたいされた。今はとても嬉しいですよ！ Even though in the end there might be not any tickets left...still, I have something to look forward to in February!!!

In other news, I think I'll begin studying Japanese again. I feel my brain is kinda rested =D

I must always remember

That I love family over all.

Just when my mom said she'd love to go to see the WWE with me, the darn tickets went out of stock so I won't be able to go...unless I decide to pay 110.000 pesos ::sigh::
But this story has a moral. Why depending on other people to do things, when I can always depend on my family?

1)Who accept me just as I am? = my family
2)Who loves me more than anything in the world? = my family
3)Who is always there for me when I'm down? = my family
4)Who gives a damn if I look pretty or I walk in Pj's the whole day? = my family
5)Who feeds me with the food I like to eat? = my family
6)Who congratulates me even for the smallest things? = my family
7)Who is proud of me always? = my family

So, there.

Sometimes I've questioned myself whether to depend on them so much emotionally, or just to begin 'living my life' in a more independent way, but why should I? if there's a source of the deepest love all available for me and I don't take it I might never find something like that again. I was so blessed of having parents that truly care for me, an aunt that is like my second mother, and a sister who even though she is bitchy she loves me...even my dogs love me, what else can I ask for. Oh, and I can't forget of my friends, who are the brothers and sisters I chose.

Today I woke up feeling blessed, and happy, for a change. I even went out with my mom and bought a dress, then we went to eat hamburgers. She laughed a lot because there were some guys who kept staring at me, and then the guy who gave me my 'Whooper' (and he was very VERY cute) kept flirting with me. I think I blushed...a lot, but I got plenty of free ketchup...to feed and army with it. :lol:

In other news, my dad suffered an epileptic attach last night. He hit his head twice against the beside table, thank God he was feeling better in the morning. The only problem with these attacks is that he loses a little bit of memories, and that he gets very moody in the next couple days. Hopefully my aunt will cook lots of yummy things to avoid the moody 'Toño' to strike, hahaha.

I'm feeling so happy today, I think I missed going out with my mom a lot =) I'm still a toddler ::lol::

Make me beauuuuutiful...

Wait a minute, I think I heard that one before.

Bored once again, but not without a purpose (weeeh an improvement!)

So I decided to grab my fat ass to the bathroom and begin with the arduous job of becoming something close to a women...again. Because, yeah, summer can be great for tanning and having fun at the beach, but when you stay at home and all your friends are away (or half sleeping half dead) then what can you do?

Well, I eat ice-cream like a pig.

But that's beside the point.

The thing is there's nothing to do, and or you scratch your tummy all day long and lurk around your house wearing PJ's, smelling like..er..bed, or you beautify yourself to the point there's nothing else you can fix (unless you go under surgery).

Of course there's a last option which involves answer a series of silly tests e.g: 'how gay are you', 'what kind of cow are you gonna be in your next life', 'which God suits you better', 'how many children you think you are not gonna have', etc. Which may or may not be better than reading Tom Cruise's last adventure.

Edit, 4th option:
Dani just gave me the link to My anime list, and I have the feeling it will keep me occupied until the last day of my life.

I think I just found a purpose for my existence. Yay!

In other news: I was thinking of starting my own religion. Why not? maybe I could lure Brad Pitt into my small cult...or The Rock, who knows, I might be the next messiah and I've been waiting for being discovered all this long...

Er...I think I should stop listening to Trance music.

Newsflash: I just ran out of ice-cream and I'm waiting for the ants to come and attack my poor and defenseless glass, but they don't know that I'm just waiting to squash the MOFOS.

Fun facts: After washing my hair my headache disappeared, which means the dirt was getting too heavy for my neck. I'll remember to wash it more often because I like my neck.

Hmm, last night I dreamed that one of my old University pals was pregnant, and it was a BOY, I wonder if I should write her name here just to cackle at her reaction. Funny thing is that almost all the dreams I have come true. Except for the one I had the other day which was related to martians, and some guy with a metallic helmet and metallic hands. Long story.

Now that I think of it, it was rather kinky...metallic hands, hmmm.

Oh, Andrew is in Argentina looking for some Yiddish pals...or something. Yesterday he was freaking out because he couldn't find were to sleep, he said he was so scared he wanted to use his 'chilean' to keep the thieves away. Man, when a north American guy begins saying that kind of things makes me think we are so screwed. Way to go Chile! C H I - L E, CHI CHI CHI - LE LE LE VIVA CHILE!.

Show me the scientology!

...or not.

Oh man I have a huge headache. Some other day I would've blamed the heat, but this time I gotta give my respects to Tom Cruise.

Lord, what a fucktard.

Dani showed me the video he recorded at one of his Scientology sessions, and I have to say that if you people thought Michael Jackson was a loony, Tom Cruise is three times worse. What can you expect from a 'placenta-eating' guy anyway!

Everything he said can be reduced as: "Well, er... Yeah, ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU OUT?!...because you know sometimes I wanna get rid of those who don't believe in us...'cause come on, we are GOOD, we...are GOOD YOU KNOW?, so are you gonna be an spectator or do something about it?, because...we know the way, actually (insert here tons of HA-HA-HAs)...we can cure CANCER, and...and, we can cure a person if they suffer an accident you know?...(more HA-HA-HASs)"

And so on and so forth.

I spent the rest of the afternoon reading about all the people who have died because of Scientology. I read the autopsy records and saw the pictures of the dead bodies (hmm yeah, I'm a voyeur I can't help it) which of course was pretty shocking, not because they were dead, but because almost all of them suffered some kind of psychological disorder. One of them went as far as burning himself to dead with hot water on his shower. Quite a sight.

I know people these days feel that something is missing in their lives. God I myself am one of them, but I don't see how these people believe that not taking medications when they are sick and paying thousands of dollars is gonna help them to achieve salvation. And it's not even salvation, they just wanna get in touch with their inner martian who will make them immortals...in the long run...and after millions of dollars...but only after you die, only that you won't die.

Right.

Oh, my headache.


In other news:

Your Birthdate: March 21

You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature. Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas. People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life. You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone. Your strength: Your thirst for adventure Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures Your power color: Hot pink Your power symbol: Figure eight Your power month: March

Well, no shit Sherlock, but I don't think I'm a heartbreaker, even thought I do have issues with people attached to me and then leaving...weird. I should go to the shrink, then again Tom Cruise would totally kill me *lol*

Your Kissing Purity Score: 74% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Man these tests are good!!

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

Awww...


Caaaan you feeeeel the looooove toniiiiight.


Actually I can't.


I'll have an aspirin now.

More random stuff

...because there's nothing else to do.

I was just talking to Dani about the death of Heath Ledger, which by the way I'm still totally shocked about it, he was so young...and handsome, oh Lord I bet the angels will have a welcome home party for him tonight. ::sigh::

In other news, I still don't have a partner to go to the WWE and I'm pissed (what's new pussy cat?...*lol*) my last card was Milena...this girl from my Japanese classes, but she has a ticket for 'ring side' and there's no way I'm gonna pay over $100 mil pesos to see Batista's legs. Andrew said my Batista was a walking hernia, my sister said she wasn't gonna go, Pablo is going on the 14th with his friends, Dani will be on holidays, Jose said it was too much money, Eduardo said he could go but if Jose doesn't go he will not go either, and the rest of my friends won't go to see the WWE with me...because they are too girly or too pregnants...summing up, I think I'll have to go all by myself, again. Damn, sometimes I hate to be me. On top of that the $20 mil pesos tickets are out of stock and now I can only get the $30 mil pesos ones...well damn.

Funny stuff, Jose told me his friend waxed his chest and legs...and privates (even though we are not sure about that) because his girlfriend told him so, I mean 'COME ON, WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!'. The thing is that when the hair began growing up again he started scratching his skin and now he has wounds all over.

I know people do stupid things for love, but this is beyond...well beyond everything, I don't even have words to describe it. I know this is his first girlfriend and all (he is 30 yo)...but I think you should never lose perspective. You should realize that loving someone means accepting the other person just as they are, and of course help them to improve themselves *only if they want to* if not why are you together in the first place! It's not even that she is pretty, with Jose we call her Squidward tentacles and it's not because of her 'fine nose'...gosh.

Eduardo said that every man needs to go out with a bitch once in their lives so they can appreciate a good girl when they find it. Gosh, and men say we are the weird ones. That made me think about myself...what if I am the bitch Andrew needed to know! hahaha, the good thing about it is, at least I don't look like Squidward...

Do I?

...

oh man.


Hmm, I'm hungry I'll go have lunch...at 16:27


I'm bored.

Meh...

...meh.

I'm fed up of Santiago and I just came back yesterday. Urgh, this city is so damn hot in summer and there's nothing to do, well there's a lot to do but there's nobody to go with, even Pablo is leaving tomorrow ::grumbles::

Today I woke up at 12:45, then went to watch TV, and then I proceeded to scratch my tummy for the rest of the day. Hmmm, I painted my nails too, I have pretty nails now.

My sister failed her driving test so she was very moody, my dad eat too much and began throwing up, my mom told me she can't leave Santiago until she sells her second van.

Anyway... =(

I talked to Andrew today.

I'm happy.

Back from Viña...

...but hopefully I'll return soon

Since I write here, the most of the time to complain about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, I'll began complaining: All the days we were there were cloudy and cold.

Ok, I'm done complaining.

In the end Jose took Eduardo, her boy-bitch *lol*, and Osvaldo, his cat, with us. We had a great time though (in spite of the cloudy days), because Jose's apartment is near to the beach, so we could go there to walk at night, or to buy ice cream. We also played Guitar Hero III, which totally rocks by the way, and slept a lot.

Oh yeah...we slept and...continued sleeping.

The first day we wanted to go out but we realized that since it was so cold we'd rather stay at home. The three of us (plus the kitty) spent most the of the morning, covered up to the eyes, on Jose's parents bed playing Play Station and eating crackers, and then went to cook 'lunch' around 6...or 7 o'clock, poor Eduardo was about to faint with hunger. After eating and watching the WWE, we got a shower and went to walk near the shore. My mind had a romantic attack, which was completely spoiled because of the fact that I was alone...and with Jose and Eduardo, bickering and then acting all lovey dovey on me. They made me giggle a lot though, specially when I asked something and Eduardo said something like 'No love...' and Jose went ballistic and I burst into laughter.

The second day we went to Valparaiso to see two of the biggest transatlantics of the world. I took the guys on a small trip on boat to see them better, the only problem was Eduardo is scared of the sea (because his grandpa' died drowned), but we took him anyway after Jose told him it was a proof of love. *LOL* I took lots of pictures. Afterwards we went to eat something, they ate meat and fish and I ate a Mariscal, which is made of lots of shellfish and stuff. Of course I got teased as hell because Jose said this plate was aphrodisiac...so they wanted to call Andrew and all *lol*. I think he would've said something like: Oy Vey!.

Anyways, after eating we went to buy some candles and wine and then we left Eduardo with his family. Jose and I went back home, and she slept from 7 pm to 1 am...it was amazing. I stayed awake to wait for Eduardo and open the door for him x_x, so I played I dunno how many levels of Guitar hero and then watched star wars.

On Sunday I woke up at 1 pm *LOL* and then Andrew called me and we talked for 2 hours...or more,I think. Jose teased the hell out of me, but in the end I couldn't take the pictured I had wanted to take =( Eduardo got back to Santiago in the morning because he had to work, so Jose and I went back by the car XD racing against the trucks on the road. I love going out with that woman.

I had a wonderful weekend and hopefully I'll go again on February (maybe) and I'll take Andrew with me, if he's here of course. Jose said we should go to see Mauricio Flores and his stand up comedy show, she went there and laughed a lot...well see :D I still need money to see the WWE!!! and I still don't have anybody to go with me!! ahhh!! ddaaaaammmmnnnn!!!!

Finally this teacher is leaving Santiago

...and just when she was getting used to the smog.

Jose is taking me to the Viña tomorrow and I'm thrilled about it. Hopefully I'll make her go to the beach with me to take a little bit of sun...well (hopefully) more than a little bit. ROAST ME BABEH!

Today I went to the art museum with Pablo and it was great. I loved the exhibition of Chilean paintings, you don't happen to see such a pretty pictures everyday. Each detail was so well done, the bodies, the trees, the battles, it was like poetry in oil. I saw the real 'Huaso y la lavandera', I have a copy at home and I have to say that it doesn't hold a candle to the real one. Mauricio Rugendas is an excellent painter and I wish they allowed us to take pictures, I truly wanted to take lots of them :(

The architecture exhibition was wonderful too, I never thought I was going to be so passionated about...well, houses, but these buildings were so beautiful and all of them had lots of nature and water around them, that they looked in a certain way, like real life paintings too...

Evil museum and its rules.

After we left the museum we walked across the Parque Forestal until Baquedano, the only problem was that I was using sandals and lots of dirt ended up in my feet, but the weather was great today and thank God, it wasn't so *hot* as yesterday. We took the subway and went to the Mall, ate lots of donuts and then Pablo said something it made my heart swell :

'The WWE is coming on February...and yes, HHH is coming too'

My reaction:

O
M
G

Actually I'm still in OMG-mode, it's HHH we are talking about, my second love after The Rock, and I swear no matter what I'll go see him, no matter who I have to kill I'll go to watch the WWE. Mark my words. I'm so happy!!! Last time I was this happy was...damn I don't even remember!!! and Batista is coming too!!! Ahhhh!!!!

After that Pablo left and I was able to finally rest a little. Last night I went to sleep at 4:00 am hahaha, I must remember not eatting sweet things at night. I was also happy because Andrew called me, he said he was 'fine', of course I didn't believe a word. I have the feeling that, even though he is seeing a lot of nature, he feels..more than a little bit lonely, I dunno...
He said he was going to call me today again, but he couldn't. Oh well, nothing can be perfect.

Another strange thing, I'm getting emotional again,and no it has nothing to do with my period...hmmm I'll think about it when I'm back from the BEACH. WOOOHOOO!!!!!!

Outing with Pablo, the karma clock and...

...Some other things.

And the reason behind my bad luck was...?

The Karma clock.

The karma clock happens to me once in a while and frankly I have no idea if this phenomenon happens to someone else too, anyway I baptized it 'the karma clock'. The karma clock consists on continuous misfortunes which may happen during a week or two, a month at the most and then it goes away. During these series of misfortunes, my family or the people I love the most, have the most wonderful luck and can do things they wouldn't be able to do in normal circumstances...and this is exactly what happened this time.

The karma clock.

My mom had been trying to sell her Van for years, and I mean for *years* , it was fabricated back on 1993 and she had been trying to sell it since 1998, you do the math. I even helped her putting adds on the Internet and on-line newspapers but it was no use. The thing is the day I was planning my holidays she called to this newspaper to put another add, of course nothing happened, but then two weeks later everything began failing for me and I mean *EVERYTHING* I even almost destructed my computer (long story) and when everything couldn't be worse, karma clock ticked and my mom sold the frigging Van! I swear I was astonished, I still am, yesterday the Van was here and now it's gone! and the whole thing took 3 days.

day 1: 'Hello do you sell a Van?' "Yes." 'Can I go see it?' "Sure."
day 2: 'Hello I came to see the Van.' "Sure" 'Oh I like it..I wanna buy it' "Great!"
day 3: 'Here you have the money' "Here you have the keys"

~The End~

The only problem with the Karma clock, and this is why I called it Karma clock, is that after this good luck my family have leaves, it comes to me and they have very bad luck, as bad as the one I experienced, which is only fair but it always worries me.

I bet there must be a ton of people out there thinking I'm crazy, but they have not lived what I've lived so I don't care. The only thing I regret is not being able to control this thing because I swear it doesn't matter how bad I feel as long as the people I love is fine. My consolation will always be that as long as they are fine I'll be fine too.

End of the Karma clock story.

Today I went out with Pablo (yeah!! something worked for me at last! weeh! weeeh!!), we went to watch Hitman and it totally rocked. I dunno why in rotten tomatoes they hated it so much, we had lots of fun, and on top of that the auditorium was full of young people laughing and jumping and squeaking with the gory parts, so it was awesome!

The plot was very easy to follow, main character guy kills the president of Russia, then he gets hunted down by the Russian intelligence. While running away he meets whore, they kinda fall in love but never kiss because main character guy sucks with women and reads magazines about how to get to know chicks. Main character guy and whore get separated, main character guy kills everyone, saves his ass and gets revenge at the Russian intelligence, continues killing people for ever and ever and he gives a vineyard to the whore...because she wanted one, and they live happily ever after eating grapes and killing people.

IT WAS GREAT!...I think I'll download it.

With Pablo we talked about him and his decision of studying philosophy, I'll never understand it, he is so *SO* smart and has an incredible way with numbers. I remember when Jose and I wanted to kill him because he was able to understand Japanese while sleeping! He used to fall asleep in classes and when our sensei asked him questions he KNEW the answers...URGH! Still I'll support him and I'll listen his thoughts about people, global warming, communism, etc. It's great talking to him, sometimes I need someone with other views (other *very* strong views), to talk to it helps me to understand the world better.

We also ate ice cream and laughed and joked a lot about the TV series we watch, even though he doesn't want them on TV but he buys the dvds ::rolls eyes::. I told him I wanted a TV card for my computer to watch television, he told me to buy a small TV and put it on my bed and on my computer chair at night, I asked him if he was crazy hahaha!

Then we went to the supermarket to buy some things my mom wanted and after that we went to play video games. I suck at killing zombies, and we spent all the money of the card, but we promised next time we were gonna spend $10.000 each on tickets for the games, it's gonna be really cool.

It was a sweet afternoon, I really missed my friend.

In other news: Today I went to hell (I mean the school I used to work) to look for my money, but they told me...after 20 minutes waiting, that it was going to be ready on Friday. Of course I went wearing a miniskirt and all the bitches who were there stared at me during my whole 'visit', poor things...they can keep my job and I'll keep my youth.

Hmmm ::giggles::

Today I'm happy, I'm really happy...and I also fell in love...

with Agent 47.

I've finally understood...

...The reason behind all my misfortunes.

Yeah, God works in mysterious ways, but I shall not write the reason until tomorrow when everything works as I hope it will. I know better than anyone that the best way for something to work as planned is not to tell a single soul about it.

In other news: I've been watching all my Jane Austen Movies/Miniseries and I'm so, so, so delighted. Ten hours with Miss Austen can make wonders to your prose ::insert coy smile here:: To make things even better Pablo and I couldn't go to the movies today but we'll go tomorrow, and we've decided also to go to the museum on Sunday (yay!) he loves museums too! Who knew.

My sister on the other hand is getting more insufferable with each passing day, and since now my mom can't blame my aunt because she went to visit my grandma, she can only blame *her* and *herself*. Unfortunately for *me* that means more pats in the back for my mom and sister...separately of course, and sit down for hours to listen to their misfortunes.

Something that made me laugh: Pablo called me yesterday at 1:00 in the morning to tell me he couldn't go to the movies with me. The thing is I had gone to sleep early to continue with my 'anti-raccoon eye-ness' treatment, so when he called me I thought I had overslept...of course I realized my mistake when he asked me 'were you asleep?' and I said... 'Hmm, yeah...now let me go back to sleep'. Unfortunately my need for sleep went to hell after his call but also I wanted to continue with my Austen marathon, then I thought to myself, myself: that's too stupid. So I went back to sleep, but for some reason I didn't sleep well and the night was really way too hot for my likings. Summing up, Pablo is gonna make me have raccoon eyes for life. Shame on you kid.

Oh!, maybe tomorrow I'll go to register myself for my last year of Japanese ::kudos for me::

The nerv of some people!

...When you think you've got rid of the bastards they always return

I woke up this morning feeling a lot better, I slept for 12 hours and I think that finally got rid of my raccoon eye-ness. The thing is I turned on my computer to check my e-mails and what did I find?

----------------------------
Isabel Arratia
to xxxx ,
date Jan 13, 2008 11:48 AM
mailed-by gmail.com

hola mabel cómo es´tas? necesito hacerte unasp reguntitas... te conectas?
----------------------------

This Isabel person used to work with me at my old school and yes she is one of the bitches. She didn't know a single thing about English but she taught there to the younger ones. She used to ask me for help to understand some textbooks and grammar rules that she *had* to know in order to teach, and since my heart is a rough as squeezed cotton, I helped her.

Of course in the end she stole my job (it was my own fault I know, but I have the right to be bitter about it..bleh), she ignored me whenever she wanted, and on top of that she used to give me these 'lessons' about how to be a 'proper' teacher, taking into account she is not even a real teacher, and just some woman who studied to be an accountant, but who cares.

So...this cockatoo dares to send me an e-mail, knowing that I don't belong anymore to her shitty school and on top of that she 'requests' to be my friend on Google Talk so she can have me at hand whenever she needs my *services*; and I bet it was Carolina the one who gave her my nickname there.

Solution?

I blocked them both.

I'm sorry for Carolina though, she is a nice person to talk to, but I won't exchange her 'talks' for my own piece of mind. Isabel is her best friend,but unfortunately for Carolina, Isabel is the last person I wanna talk to. I still remember when she gave me the 'talk' about not laughing with my children...because they 'might think' another thing about me. Oh yeah? Like what?...Oh yes, sure I'm about to go and sleep with half of my underage students and have the other half as sexual slaves. For God sake!, not laughing and talking to your students is not gonna make you a better teacher but only a moronic piece of shit who forgets you are dealing with people and not robots, and that your children are more than just a frigging number or $12.500 in your check!

Oh and another thing...if you know Spanish, you might as well realize that everything she wrote on that email has orthographic mistakes...and it's not even a full sentence. That's why Chile will be not bilingual by 2010, not because the students can't learn, but because of the teachers don't know even how to write!

In other news: Accepting my current condition made wonders. Now my brain is all relaxed, my legs look prettier and everybody seems to be at peace here. I think I'm finally on holidays.

I decided...

...shirking responsibilities is not so bad, for a while.

A couple hours ago I remembered when my dad was sick, he suffered two heart strokes and almost died. Then I remembered when the doctor looked at my dad's exams and then at him again and said: 'According to these exams you should be dead already!' , doctors how can you not love them. Well, the thing is in that moment (my remembering time) I had a revelation...I'm all down and depressed because I have the *time* to be depressed. If I were doing something for my life instead of bitching and complaining I would go back to my old self. So I went all girly and polished my nails, fixed my hair, took a shower an felt a thousand times better, of course it also helped that Pablo wanna go out with my on Monday (chuckles here) and we are gonna go to watch this chilean movie 'Chile puede'. We were gonna watch Hitman, but we both realised it was gonna be a waste of money.

So yeah, back to my revelation...

I'm gonna watch all the movies and series I love, and download all the soap operas and dramas I want to watch. There's no reason to expect these holidays are gonna be any different to the previous ones and that was my mistake. There's no need for me to stress myself over some stupid trips, if I wanna relax and truly run away from everything I should just pack my bags and go to visit my grandmother. She lives in a small town that I bet God doesn't even remember creating and they don't have telephones, nor Internet and cellphones work only if you are lucky enough to find the signal. Which is even better, two miles from there you can get to the beach, the prices are not that expensive and I think I'll be able to give my mom some decent vacations and then we can go back as good as new.

Carolina was right, I just needed to put my head straight and now I feel a thousand times better, still tired, but that's normal after your first year of 'real work' with really nasty people and noisy but lovely students.

I decided that next year I'm gonna save money from March to November and I'll maybe go to Easter Island for a couple days, or just to any good hot springs my cousin recommends me. I found out that making plans for holidays is just not my thing and that if I wanna rest I should begin for resting my head a little so from now on I'll be as retarded as any blond bimbo...a la Paris Hilton even and just have fun.

Uhh, did you hear that? I think my brain just sighed in glee, hahaha.

In other news: Today I watched the Nodame Cantabile special, it was sooo romantic, I can't wait to watch the second part. That reminded me that tomorrow it's my second Monthssary with my boyfriend, but I think I'll omit that from my mind and I think he will too. I'm sure he will agree with me that seeing each other 1 time through a web-cam doesn't look like a real relationship at all, so I suppose I'll wait until he comes back in February and re-take the whole thing from were we left it, or not x_x we'll see. I'm sure he feels the same, this whole 'I'll see you when I see you' thing is making me really ill and I bet he is ill too, hahaha.

I feel so much better now, no weight on my brain...so now if you excuse I'll go and have fun watching North and South, I need to feed my BBC madness ^-^.

Annoyed about a few things

...oh yeah, because the story never ends.

The truth is, even though it doesn't seem like it, I'm a pretty easy going person. Even when I get mad, at whatever reason, I just stay quiet and look at somewhere else to avoid any kind of fight or problem it may occur, and this is of course related to my inability to express myself out loud in a coherent sort of way. However, this time this whole issue of plans going just *totally* wrong, one after another, made me realize several things which I'm not sure I want to deal with in my current state of mind.

Oh yeah, I said state of mind.

The other day, while I was having a blast writing here how unfortunate I was, I forgot to mention that I almost had an emotional breakdown the last day I went to sign the final papers in my old school.

It wasn't even because of the bitches I used to work with. It just happened because when I was leaving and I saw the doorman of the school, a very nice old man and the only one who used to greet me with a smile in the morning. So this doorman wished me 'good holidays', so I hugged him I wished him 'good holidays' too, and a 'good year' and in that minute I just fell apart. I told him that I was not going to see him anymore, because...well I *had* to leave and he said (and showed me with his face) that he truly regretted that but that he was happy because he had been working with me 'a real lady' (his words nor mine) and that he wished me the best luck. It still bring tears to my eyes, I have them right now.

What shocked me the most is that I could stand the bitches, losing my kids, quitting my position as a head teacher plus all the humiliations, but a hug just killed me and that upsets me.

The thing is I've been thinking the reason behind everything seems to be going wrong lately is because my star is telling me to look for a job *now* because I might not have the chance in February (I'm just speculating), and if it's that so I'm screwed. Why? Because I cant deal with people right now, I can't deal with more rejection and strange faces, and fake smiles and cold handshakes, I should say my brain is shutting down for real this time. As an example: I just talked to my boyfriend a couple hours ago and he began talking about poetry, and I swear to God I was about to faint, not because the topic is boring mind you, but because for some reason I reached the point where I cannot accept more information in my head, he seemed pretty happy though, and of course he has reasons to be. He's been having a great time by going to new places, meeting new people and taking pictures, while I'm here stuck in my house, going to the cinema and to the library whenever I can to scape from reality. This just sucks...and is making me bitter and resentful and a total bitch and I hate myself a thousand times because of that.

When I saw Jose the other day I realized how much I was starving for some human contact, other than my family of course, and that for some weird reason every time I try to do plans to go out with one of my friends, there's another friend who says they wanna see me too that same day, so I go and cancel the first date, but then the second one makes a mistake on the dates and goes and cancel their date too, and I go back to zero and I'm so babbling right now, I just wanna shoot myself.

One thing which has just made me smile, Pablo my friend from my Japanese classes added me to his facebook...ahhh I missed him so much. I'll never forget when he helped me making the graphics for my thesis and then he actually *CALLED ME* to know how the presentation had gone.

...

Maybe this time I'll have another friend to go to the movies with...

I wanna go back to the sunny me so badly, I even worried my boyfriend over nothing, he said something like he was glad of having this conversation about poetry with me, and I said I didn't and he kinda freaked out. Next time I have the idiotic idea of telling him something please, shoot me, no seriously...shoot_me, or hit me, or bring the whole Al Qaeda gang.

I need some peace of mind here.

Oh my God...

...the minister of education is ugly as HELL

So I attended the seminar Michael Fullan gave at Crown Plaza. It was about the latest ideas on school reform and teacher behavior, very interesting stuff if you ask me. Everybody who was 'someone' in the education world was there, the head of the CPEIP, the head of Microsoft Chile, who happens to be also a history teacher, the head of the education department of ONU for South America and finally our Minister of education, who is as I said, ugly as hell...and stupid...and can't memorize a speech even if her life depended on it.

On 2006 I attended another seminar at Crown Plaza, but only this time I put real attention to my surroundings. The 'room' where the seminar was held was *huge*, we were around 1500 people there and there was still more space available for another 100 or so. This hotel is *so* damn cool, and the coffee break wasn't bad either, I ate lots of chocolate and butter cookies, yummy!

Michael Fullan reminded me of Santa Claus without beard, chubby and smiley, but he is totally awesome, his ideas about education and the way he expresses himself is wonderful, I think I've finally found my roll model. I'm not gonna write down the notes I took at the seminar because I think it's better to read his books , but I have to say Santa took my breath away.

The only problem about the seminar was the time, I wonder what the heck were they thinking when they planned a seminar at 8:30 am! Everybody was falling asleep during the first 45 minutes, myself included, and then they said 'coffee break' and we all ran towards the cookies. Chileans...

I left Crown Plaza at 1:30 pm approximately and then I called my friend Jose. We had been wanting to go to the movies for ages and yesterday was the only day I could go because I was leaving for Viña del Mar the next day. She said 5:20 was fine and I went to eat something in the meantime. Then my friend Dani called to tell me that she couldn't have me at her house in Viña del Mar because a project had come along and she *had* to take it or she was going to die, yadda, yadda, yadda, so in the end all my plans of roasting myself like a chicken went down the drain, as usual.

Pissed as I was, I went to the cinema, bought the tickets and waited for Jose, but she didn't arrive at 5:20 nor 5:30 or 5:45, in the end she arrived at 6:00 pm. I swear I was about to faint. In the meantime my boyfriend called (yeah! he is alive!) and since Carola told me I had to follow my heart and be true to my feelings if I wanted transparency in our relationship (yeah, we had a heart to heart talk which reminded me of karate kid, a lot...dunno why) I told him I missed the hell out of him, and he said he missed me too...and I believe him...BUT I SO DAMN MISS HIM MORE, DAMMIT!

I swear this is like a huge conspiracy against my mental health, worse than area 51, or the pyramids, or the Kennedy murder. I bet God is laughing his ass off right now and thinking: why don't I ruin all her plans for going on holidays and make her wait like frigging Penelope for her boyfriend? Isn't that a great idea, Isn't it? Isn't it? What do you think Gabriel?, Huh? Huh?? This is so_not_fair, I'm an independent woman, dammit! I'm so pissed right now I could bite somebody's head off! I'm not used to miss people, I hate that! I dunno what the hell is the Lord trying to teach me this time, because He knows I'm patient as hell, and it is not necessary for me to practice now, thank you very much.

URGH! I NEED VALIUM! ::end rant::

Back to Jose...

Since we had missed the first 45 minutes of the movie (lol) I told her I could buy new tickets so we could watch another one, and she said in a very Jose-like manner 'ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?' (I love this woman), so she decided we could go and act like we were going to go to watch the movie we missed but enter another auditorium, and of course we did that.

I told her we should hide in the bathroom, so we run for it while she called her mom to ask her for the time of the next movie. The only one which had just began was Alvin and the Chipmunks, so Jose told to her mom we were gonna go and watch it. She said we 'WERE FRIGGING NUTS' (I love her mom) and she hung up.

So we watched Alvin and the Chipmunks, which was really cute, and then we ran to the next auditorium and watched Enchanted, which was as sweet and funny as I imagined it was. (I so have a Disney princess complex.)

I had told my boyfriend I was going to send him a message later so we could chat a little bit more, or we could see each other through our web-cams. Unfortunately Jose and I decided it was time for some girl bonding and left the mall (after talking until our tongues hurt) at 12:00 (yeah for real), and then we kept talking when she went to my house to pick up her x'mas present (a hello kitty clock) and she also gave me one, a light blue handbag, I loved it. In the end I sent him a message at 12:30 or so...and I wanted to kill myself, of course he didn't answer until 11 something...today.

Talking about today...Today Sara, my friend in Chiloe, told me she was leaving on the 21st to Talca instead of the 28th and that she wanted me to go to Ancud in February instead of January so we could be together.

I swear I could listen to God laughing his ass off again.

I e-mailed her back to tell her I *had* to go on January because I *had* to look for a job on February and to study for my Japanese exam. A couple minutes later Dani called me again...and her mom, to tell me that I could go tomorrow to Viña, or right now if I wanted to, because Dani wasn't gonna work on her project until next Wednesday. I declined their offer for two reasons, the first one is because 'everything happens for a reason' and if this happened maybe it was not the right time to go, and number two is because I was still upset at the whole thing.

So...shit, I don't have a home to arrive at when I go to Chiloe with mom, nor I'll see Sara who knows how everything works there, and all my plan have changed again.

Oh! and my boyfriend is coming back in February, or I think he is...and of course I will have no time to see him because I'll be going to my grandmother's house on February and then is the job thing...and the Japanese thing...

The only thing I have for certain is that Jose will take me to Viña del Mar next week, for 2 days, and she want us to go to the casino, which of course with my luck can mean two things:

1) I'll drown in the sea
2) I'll lose all my money at the casino

Hmm, I think I should crawl under my bed and not go out for a couple days...this is not my week...at all.

The year of the rat my ass.

Meeting an old friend...

...makes you feel like the time has never passed

Today I met Karen, my pal' from university. She graduated a few months before me and we kind of drifted away a while... a year or two while.

The other day I saw her on google talk and she said she wanted to see me. The thing is we always say the same thing but something always happens and we don't go out, so today I decided it was time to stop delaying our meeting and I sent her a text message to see whether she wanted to go to the movies or not.

And of course we went.

When I arrived to the mall I didn't see Karen right away so I had to call her. It was so funny when we found each other because we hugged and laughed like crazy. Everybody stared and of course we went 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT LOSER?!' mode. We are so much alike.

Then we went to get the tickets, the girl at the box office asked me if she could give me a chocolate instead of giving me $100 because she had run out of coins...of course I said yes. So we went to find our room and of course we ended up picking the wrong one. The guys at the cinema laughed (flirted with) at us...a lot.
While we were waiting for the movie, I took a couple pictures to immortalize the moment of the reunion, but I don't think the couple who were kissing behind us were very happy of having a flash on their faces. ::cackles::

We watched 1408, which is coincidentally the number of her house (1408 = 13, get it? ...spooky). The movie is based on a short story by Stephen King (Mr. Freak) and the main actor was John Cusack who rocked, as usual. The plot was very cliché but entertaining and we spent two hours drinking Sprite and jumping.

It was good to see Karen again, she looks great as usual and looks very happy. Must be because she's been dating for three years this guy from Rancagua. Rancagua guys seem to be very nice, I have a classmate in my japanese class who is from there as well, he is a total gentleman, very handsome and smart...hm...hmmmmm.

My boyfriend has left me alone for too long...bad boy, bad bad boy.

In other news, I'm running 13 kilometers in 40 minutes every day, and I think I can see the results already (or is my wishful thinking, who knows), but today many guys whistled at me, I was so embarrassed (delighted). I swear all the way home I sang in my head "I feel pretty...oh so pretty..." . I should stop watching movies by Adam Sandler, this guy is gonna brainwash me.

Uh I think it's coming again...

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm LIKED
By a pretty WHO COVERS HIS MOUTH WHEN HE YAWNS boy!

3..2..1 Happy New...

...Huh?! What happened to the lights??!!

This is the story:

We went to spent new year's eve with my aunt and cousins. The idea was to eat there and go later to watch the fireworks, but in the end as my niece and nephew behaved horrible, as usual, we stayed in the house and waited for the clock to strike 12:00.

I finally met my cousin's fiancé , if I can call it that way, and I found out thanks to the subtle signs, my sixth sense and my dear niece who couldn't help but scream from the beginning of the dinner to the end: SHE IS PREGNANT, SHE IS P*R*E*G*N*A*N*T, that my cousin is having a baby.

Of course we didn't ask if it was true, nor she denied it.

So we were there, watching TV and waiting for the fireworks, when the clock struck 12:00...

...And the blackout came.

Yeah, for real. The most idiotic thing in the world happened, a damn BLACKOUT at 12:00 o'clock! So the first thing I thought of was turning on my camera to try to see who was beside me and hug them, because we had to hug each other, blackout or not dammit, that's the fucking tradition!

Everybody began turning on their cellphones and hug each other and then we remembered about the fireworks...and that we couldn't see them because there was no electricity! Then a neighbor came to the door and said we could watch them if we ran 3 blocks ahead, so we grabbed the champagne and the ice-cream, and we all ran the dammed 3 blocks and when we arrived of course there were no fireworks, we could only hear them from afar.

We grabbed the champagne and the ice-cream again and we all ran back to the house and from there to the second floor where we could see literally 2 fireworks and then everything was over. In that moment the electricity came back and we could watch 5/8 minutes from the fireworks in Viña del Mar, while I was trying to call my friends, but as Fernando predicted, the guys at Entel disconnected the system so I could greet no one.

Afterwards everybody ran away. My sister left for a party, to which of course she didn't invite me but had the nerve of asking me for 40 USD to go, and of course I gave them to her; sometimes I hate myself; then my cousin left for another party and of course she didn't invite me either.

It doesn't matter though, I got my revenge by taking her pictures with a runny nose, and my sister will face my mother's wrath.

HA-HA-HA

2008 here I go, meaner and reloaded.